The vast majority of the time, within a minute or so of me telling the child in possession of the item that they don’t have to hand it over until they’re good and ready, they decide they are in fact good and ready and share willingly.

Instead of clutching the item in question as tightly as possible for as long as possible, the twins seem to take joy in sharing with their sibling – but only when they’re not forced to.

It got me thinking that I’m like that too. I get joy out of being kind to people a lot of the time but if I feel forced to be kind, it’s not nearly as satisfying. I’m glad that I’ve stumbled upon a tactic for sharing that allows my boys to show kindness but also empowers them to make that decision without being coerced.

Blessings and kindness

Mrs Fruit Salad

- Mr Fruit Salad, when I’m wanting to talk about yet another silly/crazy/fun/inspiring thing someone we know/love/have heard of said or did.

- My mum, when I recount in detail each moment of my day on pretty much a daily basis.

- My kids, when I’m grumpy and frazzled and trying to be the best mum I can be and knowing I’m falling short.

I’m the sort of person who is constantly coming up with something new to be interested in or inspired by and I’m sure that living with me is sometimes exhausting.

I’m very thankful to the people who love me for the patience they show me on a daily basis.

Blessings and patience

Mrs Fruit Salad

A big part of the problem is that we’ve all been conditioned to thinking peace equates to a lack of conflict, which I don’t think is necessarily true. And in a house with four little people and two big people with equally big opinions, conflict is a part of life. The kids were particularly irritable today and I found the twins quite exasperating with little fights over this and that. I know it’s perfectly normal, and some days I can let their little spats slide off me, but each one seemed to be an assault on my peace today.

I don’t feel like I got to experience much peace today at all, but maybe that’s the point. Maybe I’m not supposed to experience peace as much as be the giver of peace. Maybe when the kids argue, I’m supposed to be displaying peacefulness as I help them sort it out.

I guess I’m still trying to define exactly what peace is, because surely it’s not merely the absence of conflict?

There are times when it’s important to stand up for what is right even though you know it’s going to be unsettling and uncomfortable. Peace at all costs really isn’t peace at all, is it?

Blessings and peace

Mrs Fruit Salad

Firstly, Mr Fruit Salad got the kids breakfast and told me to stay in bed and rest a little longer. This hour of unanticipated snoozing was greatly appreciated and went a long way to giving me a joyful start to the day. Then he and the twins rode their bikes with Mr Mango to school, which gave me time to get some much needed housework done with Miss Raspberry pottering around and chattering away. As I vacuumed and mopped the floors – not something I would usually associate with joy – I really was joyful. Joyful that I have a house for my family, even if it does need cleaning. Joyful that I have an electric vacuum cleaner to help ease the burden, unlike my grandmother when she had four small children. Joyful that I am physically able to do these things with relative ease.

Considering the little sleep I got last night, today has been great. I’ve got dinner all prepared and ready to go and Mr Fruit Salad and the twins have ridden off to collect Mr Mango and his bike from school. Miss Raspberry is crawling around under my feet talking in her delightful baby babble with an occasional sing-song, “Dad-dy!” thrown in. It’s quite a chilly day outside, but I know we’re all going to sleep in warm beds tonight with full tummies and be safe from the fears that plague so many other families around the globe. We might even pop out to the library this afternoon before dinner – what a joy!

Today I’ve realised just how much mindfulness and thankfulness are powerful contributors to joy.

Blessings and joy and thankfulness,

Mrs Fruit Salad

We spent over an hour there as the kids rode their scooters in and out and around the skate park with Mr Mango getting some serious air on a few jumps. He and Mr Peach also had a serious crash (with another child involved as well) where none of them were aware of where anyone else was riding and they all collided with a sickening thud. Thankfully, everyone was OK. The other child was unhurt – it was really Mr Peach who was t-boned by Mr Mango – and Mr Peach was more frightened than anything. He didn’t go back in the big bowl after that but he was content to ride around the periphery and stay well away from the bigger kids. Mr Mango mashed his gum a little, but as I was more worried about his emerging teeth, a sore gum was rather minor.

Mr Fruit Salad was at a church working bee but took a few minutes away from the work to come and watch the boys ride. And when he did so, he demonstrated just another one of the many reasons why I love him. He grabbed a big rubbish bag from out of his car and began to pick up the various bottles and empty drink containers that were lying around the park. The twins and I helped him and between us, the park looked much neater by the time we left.

As he worked, Mr Fruit Salad said to our kids, “We’re cleaning up the park as a way of showing love to our community today.”

See why I married this man?

Blessings and love

Mrs Fruit Salad

It seems a little bit of self-control can make a big difference.

Blessings and self-control

Mrs Fruit Salad

Before the final prayer of our blessing dinner, I decided to sing a song with the kids. A few weeks ago Mr Fruit Salad was on youtube looking for at songs relating to the fruits of the Spirit and we came across this awesome kids’ song.

My boys watched a variety of versions that Sunday morning and there was much laughter and cackling going on. So tonight, our choice of song was the Fruit of the Spirit song. Each child got to choose a fruit they wanted to sing about and there was much hilarity over the actions that accompanied each one (think blowing a raspberry when singing about raspberries). And then when we got to the chorus, we almost lifted the roof off. I looked around the faces at the table as we sang and my heart was filled with such joy. All of the boys sang their hearts out, while Miss Raspberry looked on with great amusement at our shenanigans. And at the end of the song we had a grand finale where Mr Fruit Salad and I embodied rather off-key opera singers complete with ridiculously long notes and hand gestures. The kids loved that, of course.

It got me thinking that gentleness doesn’t equate to quietness.

We were loud and noisy and the neighbours must have wondered what on earth we were up to tonight, but in the midst of the noise there was a gentleness among us.

I guess we were noisily gentle :)

Blessings and gentleness

Mrs Fruit Salad

Mr Mango is a great kid but he’s going through a very vague stage where he is very easily distracted. In the morning he needs to have breakfast, make his bed, put away any clothes that are lying on the floor/desk, pack his bag, read his reader to me and brush his teeth. And recently, he’s been pretty slack on following through on a lot of these. This morning I challenged him to be faithful and to do exactly what he knew he needed to do.

After breakfast he skipped to his bedroom…and promptly began playing with some cars while still in his pyjamas, his teeth not brushed, book not read, bag not packed.

We’re definitely not on top of this aspect of faithfulness yet, but I’m hopeful that as the year progresses he’ll become a little more focused and less dependent on my reminders. Does anyone else feel like a Sergeant Major on school mornings??

Blessings and faithfulness

Mrs Fruit Salad

I stood back for a moment and watched the situation unfold. I wasn’t about to ask Mr Peach to give up his green muffin, especially as Mr Pear was carrying on like a pork chop. In our house you are far more likely to get what you want if you demonstrate some sort of control and ask politely, and Mr Pear had done absolutely nothing wrong. This time around he got to choose first and he chose green. Mr Pear was just going to have to deal with it. While I reassured Mr Pear that the muffins tasted exactly the same, regardless of what colour patty pan they were in, I could see Mr Peach making a decision.

He looked carefully at his beautiful green muffin and instead of taking a bite, he offered it to Mr Pear. “Here you go,” he said, “you can have the green one.”

My heart filled with pride for Mr Pear. He hadn’t been asked to give away his chosen muffin and he was under no duress to do so; there was no way I was going to even suggest that as an option, especially with Mr Peach’s dramatics. However, out of the goodness of his heart, my beloved Mr Pear decided that it really didn’t matter much to him what colour the patty pan was and yet he could see that it did matter to Mr Peach. The giving of his muffin was a decision he made alone.

Mr Peach said a heartfelt thank you, I praised Mr Pear for his goodness and both of my fruity twins walked away with smiles on their faces, although I suspect it was Mr Pear who felt truly good about himself. Sometimes it really is more blessed to give than to receive.

Blessings and goodness

Mrs Fruit Salad

Mr Mango had open heart surgery to correct a congenital heart defect in September 2009. It was quite possibly the hardest day of my life as a parent. We knew he needed the surgery to save his life, but we also knew that he would be put on a heart-lung bypass machine for the duration of surgery and his heart would be stopped. It absolutely blew my mind as a mother to think that my baby’s heart wasn’t beating. In actual fact, Mr Mango was put on bypass twice during the partial AV repair procedure as the surgeon wasn’t happy with the initial repair and chose to keep working for a little while longer. The six hours I spent away from my baby felt like an eternity, and although he recovered very quickly physically, Mr Fruit Salad and I still bear the emotional scars.

Just a few hours after surgery...

I had anticipated that the surgery itself would be tough, but as his condition has a 95% success rate after just one operation, I was unprepared for the long-term worry that accompanies such a thing. We have a checkup every year to monitor his heart function (so far, so good – we’re overdue for another one and I’m waiting to hear back from the Royal Children’s Hospital for our appointment time) but whenever he looks a bit pale, or is sleepier than normal or seems lethargic, I get that fear that his heart is deteriorating.

I’m not alone. There are hundreds of families around Australia going through exactly the same – and far worse – than what we went through. Six children are born every day in Australia with CHD. CHD is the number one cause of death in children under five. There are many, many children in our play groups, pre-schools and school communities who have had open-heart surgery or will need it one day. And yet there is very little awareness of just how wide spread CHD is.

HeartKids provided us with practical and emotional support during our hospital stay. They gave us a kit with all sorts of information and had a liaison person at the hospital to help answer any questions. They also connected us to other families with HeartKids, which was also fantastic.

So today, I’m asking you to show some kindness and donate to HeartKids through their website or buy a donut from Donut King during February or take a moment to say a prayer for all those families with HeartKids who are taking it one day at a time.

This afternoon I’m taking a batch of heart donuts up to Mr Mango’s school for all his classmates. I’m sure they’ll be a real hit and will give Mr Mango an opportunity to tell his very important story.

Blessings and kindness

Mrs Fruit Salad